I was at a church somewhere on the road and I was sitting beside this 60-something year old Chinese lady who had a Bible in Chinese and everything. She was very nice. When she got up to walk out, I noticed that she was wearing a black T-shirt with the words, written in about 6-inch letters, "YO JUICY!" I just thought that was pretty darn funny.
I know, I know...it's been a very long time since I've written a blog (or "blogged" for those of you who are too tech-savvy for your own good). There is a reason. A very legitimate reason. A very sad reason.
There is something that has happened in my life that I fear will change your entire opinion of me. I am scared to death to even send it out over the internet "waves (is it waves that the internet elves use to get me to you across the world?...yes, I've decided that it's waves, just like the radio [I'm wrong, of course, but that's what I've decided, regardless of the truth])."
Something has ended in my life. Something/someone that defined me...that was a huge part of my public persona (for all 3 of you who read this--mom, dad, and that other guy). A long-term relationship has ended in my life and I don't know who I am without her. Who will I become now that she is out of my life? The question frightens me.
What could be so traumatic? What could change the very fabric of my being? Who could have been this important to me that my life feels like it has been ripped apart without her?
Let me just come right out and say it (brace yourselves).
I no longer drive a Dodge Stratus.
Now you understand why it's been so long. How do I put that down in black and white? I've been grieving, my friends. So long, cool, boss Charlie (why are you snickering?....obviously you knew me apart from her). Hello, lame, Stratus-less guy.
What happened, you ask? Well, it's complicated, like any relationship. We started heading in different directions. She wanted to stop and talk when I'd pull up to a red light and I wanted to keep going. She started to become high-maintenance, requiring....well....maintenance. It just became too much for me. It was clear that we had to part ways---Me go my way and she go (or sit there and refuse to start) hers.
I'm afraid of what you must think of me---dropping Dees off to be picked up by a complete stranger? But I feel like she forced me to do it. Her sputtering brakes giving me whiplash every time I pressed them or her squeals when I turned the wheel were cries for help. One of us needed to make the move, so I did it. I'm not proud of it, but it had to happen.
There.....I said it.
I am now Charlie Dodrill, former owner of a Dodge Stratus (I realize not nearly as cool as what I used to be, but I guess it is better to have loved a Stratus and lost a Stratus, than never to have loved a Stratus at all---I think Aristotle said that).
So that's the big news. I'll understand if you drop me like a bad habit (get it?...I used to be a monk), remove me from your top 8 myspace friends...or your friends altogether, burn my CD's. It's understandable. Just remember. I'm the same inside, and I still need love. Is that so wrong?
Enough of that. I will speak no further of Dees, the Dodge Stratus.
I have no idea who this is, but the jean shorts say it all...even he looks cool next to that baby.
Just got back from KC again and am off to Colorado in a couple days. Those are two great places.
I've been on the road a bit and lately, it's become some of my best down time. Lots of people all the time these days, which it great...but can wear a guy like me out.
It has been so nice just to be able to relax when I sit down. I used to think that I had to spend every still moment straining to learn something about Him or fervently pray for someone or something...do something to make God like me or to take advantage of that moment to become more spiritually more mature than everyone else. Funny how much of a job I made it....and how much I wanted to be promoted based on my own merits/efforts.
Wow, what a waste of time and energy!!! I'm so thankful that the work has been done for me!!! I'm thankful that the same Jesus that took time away to be with His Father while He was here still does so while he lives in me!!! No pressure...nowhere to get to....no task to accomplish every time...no act to perform. The Son just loves to sit with His Father....the Spirit just loves to sit with and point to the Son....The Father loves to sit with His Son...and I get to somehow sit right there in HIM!!!! How unbelievable is that?!?!? How could I not be transformed in to His image when that is my place?!?!! It rubs off!
Lord, I ask that I keep this perspective in the midst of a crazy, busy life and take advantage of those times just to sit and be and bask in the relationship that You have with each other. Thank you for making me a partaker of the Divine Nature. How cool are You?!?!?!
 | Currently reading : A Foreign Policy of Freedom: Peace, Commerce, and Honest Friendship By Ron Paul Release date: 15 June, 2007 |
